lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize