oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
