i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
