sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You took a bar mat shot.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
