no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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