so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
