Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My dick has a subreddit
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
