i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
