IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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