I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
