How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I smell like Dick and happiness
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
