Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize