are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
