I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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