My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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