My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I want is dick and wine.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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