you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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