Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
