How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
