just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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