i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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