I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize
