Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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