the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
420 ftw
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
