just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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