Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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