they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
