is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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