i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Randomize
