you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
