i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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