I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
