haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize