You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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