Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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