I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
