Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
