I wanna bring you to show and tell
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
