She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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