Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
