I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
