Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
