My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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