i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
