I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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