i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize