So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
