no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
