I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
