So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
