I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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