You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
