I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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