Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize