that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
