you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
