i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
