I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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